I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize