ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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