You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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