I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
