She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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