I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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