i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
