So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
