Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
honey bunches of taint.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
