Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
