so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
