So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
