I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize