My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
