and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
