Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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