i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
