She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
