Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize