Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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