i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
