Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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