Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
