ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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