So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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