We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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