I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
