This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
