just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
