Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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