ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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