i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize