guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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