Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
