yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
