last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
