remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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