never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
