there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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