Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
