i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
