PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
