Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Buhtt sex?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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