Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
