Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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