things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize