Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
