she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
