I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
