is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
