I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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