you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
