she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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