Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
