i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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