hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
