honey bunches of taint.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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