We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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